The following excerpt is from Willowgreen Publishing’s book When You’re Ill or Incapacitated: 12 Things to Remember in Times of Illness, Injury, or Disability by James E. Miller.

Your feelings may be stronger than you expect,
and some you may not expect at all.

     Any change in your life creates stress—that’s a universal law. Your stress may be minor, especially if the change is minor. Or it may feel overwhelming. Or anything in between. This unusual time may bring with it a wide variety of feelings.
     A reminder: there are no “right feelings” and no “wrong feelings” for you to have. That’s true for two reasons. In themselves, feelings are neither right nor wrong. They simply are. Your feelings are movements of energy flowing through you. They are an expression of your love of life, your investment in others, your natural concern for yourself.
     In addition, there are no “right feelings” a person in your situation should have. Everyone is unique. No one else possesses your same history, your same personal make-up, your same experience of what’s happening at the moment. What you feel, and how deeply you feel it, and how long you feel it, are individual matters.
     There are certain reactions, however, that have been commonly reported during times like these. Perhaps you can identify with some of them:
     Fear and anxiety. You may be afraid of what you have to endure, or what your life will be like in the future, or even whether you’ll have a future. You may feel at loose ends, or unusually emotional, or a bit unstable.
     Anger. You may feel anything from being irritable or frustrated to being downright mad. You may feel this way about your condition or about what caused your condition, about the care you’re receiving or the care you’re not receiving. You may be angry at family members or at friends, at medical personnel, at yourself, even at God.
     Sadness and depression. You may have the blues. Your days may seem gray or your future bleak. You may find yourself disturbingly low on energy.
     Guilt. You may feel guilty about what brought you to this point in your life. You may blame yourself for certain things that have happened, or for certain relationships, or certain attitudes.
     Grief. You may feel what almost everyone feels at a time like this: a sense of loss. You may grieve the loss of your health, or some physical part of yourself, or your ability to do what you’ve always done. You may grieve the loss of your independence, or your sense of security, or your work, or your regular relationships, or your normal routine, or your home environment. It’s normal to mourn whenever you lose anything that means something to you.
     Other feelings you might have include loneliness, embarrassment, or boredom. Or you may experience feelings of relief, or thanksgiving, or closeness with others, or even joy. Most likely, you will feel several of these emotions at the same time. It may be hard to sort out where one feeling ends and another begins.
     Some people report feeling fragile or off balance during this time. Some even wonder if they’re going a little crazy, especially when waves of unpredictable emotions wash over them time and again. Remember: this is an unusual time in your life, and unusual times call for unusual responses. That’s usual.
     Above all, remember that your feelings are nothing more than a sign that you are human. And more importantly, they’re also a sign you’re nothing less than fully human. So go ahead: feel whatever it is you feel. Don’t avoid your feelings, or judge them, or minimize them, or hide them. Just let them be.

     This writing is excerpted from Willowgreen Publishing’s book When You’re Ill or Incapacitated: 12 Things to Remember in Times of Illness, Injury, or Disability by James E. Miller. The other half of this double book is entitled When You’re the Caregiver and is written for professionals, volunteers and family members who care for the ill.

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